Kasona

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5 Health benefits of massage

Benefits of massage1. Great for stress reduction – Regular massages are paramount to managing everyday stress and getting your mind back in balance. Our muscles and ligaments have a memory, each stressful event is stored in the cells and fibres in our body. Bodywork such as massage alleviates this. At Kasona we incorporate mindfulness and breathing into each treatment too.
It’s important to find the right therapist for you. If you’re laid there thinking this isn’t how I like it or what I want, you’re not going to relax or gain any great benefit from it. Communication is key. Once you find the right therapist, book in regularly to secure the time that fits your schedule and stick to it.

2. Strengthens immune system – We can’t always stop ourselves getting our neighbour’s or family member’s colds and bugs, but we can decrease the impact it has on our health. Having a strong immune system assists our body to move the virus along quicker, with limited down time. There’s an added benefit when using essential oils in your massage. At Kasona we use what you need, when you need it, with a take home sample if required too.

3. Aids Lymphatic system – Our lymphatic fluid needs stimulation to flow effectively. Massage is a very effective tool to clear out toxins held in your body. Too many people have sedentary jobs and watch TV when they get home. Movement is required to keep your lymphatic system clearing. Massage stimulates and promotes a healthy well being.

4. Reduces pain – Pain is manifested in the mind first. Massage can reduce or turn the inflammatory response off after injury or trauma, elevating stress and restriction. Increasing positive blood flow around the body improves muscle and ligament function, reduces tightness and releases pain held within the body. Many people live with pain everyday. It doesn’t have to be that way.

5. Improves relationship with self – Body issues are in a lot of people’s everyday life. When you learn how to feel good in your body, you can fully relax and give yourself over to receive the pleasure of a massage. A good therapist will walk you through these steps. Our body has many pleasure receptors. By stimulating nerve endings, relaxing muscles and ligaments, this sends messages to your brain that “this is good and I deserve to feel this way”. These are all part of having a greater sense of self.

Karen Aitken
Remedial massage therapist & Stress management coach
0414 973394
www.kasona.com.au

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”― Dalai Lama XIV

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How to know and own your self worth

THE NEW YOUSooooo, Valentine day. Is it a man made forced romantic load of nonsense, or a useful measure of how much a potential new flame, partner or even children have been thinking about you?.

Not in the how much they spend , but the gestures and thoughtfulness throughout the day. I know we shouldn’t need a day to do this, it should be in our relationship daily, but taking time to reflect and honour each other has to be a good thing, right?

I came across a piece I wrote on the eve of my birthday last year. I now feel ready to share it. The pain and disappointment has eased. I thought it could be useful to know, even though I’ve been a stress management coach and remedial massage therapist for many years, seeing hundreds of happy clients, balancing out negative energies and soothing souls all day. Sometimes my wheels fall off the wagon too. I don’t always communicate effectively, I contain and let it go, in a not so controlled manner. Here’s how it went, enjoy!

Birthday blues

I’m absolutely fuming and disappointed with the whole thing of being a mother and being a wife. Countless hours I spend doing things for other people, putting their needs before my own, making sure they’re fed well, looked after, emotionally stable, entertained, dropped off and picked up from various, sometimes miles away destinations, at different ends of the day. I thought I was raising the next generation of caring and thoughtful boys, who would go on to cherish and nurture their partners and children and all living beings. But no. I’ve now come to the conclusion I live in a house of narcissists

It’s my birthday tomorrow. No big deal. I’ve heard my husband mention a few times, “oh I’ve not got you anything yet”, “I’ll nip out on Saturday (the day before)” So Saturday comes around, he’s got someone coming over to pick up some stuff, then we’re meeting friends for lunch, so he said he has 40 minutes. He’d tried to rally the kids a few times, but they were still in their pj’s, doing their various screen pursuits.

So I said, you know what, don’t bother, I don’t want anything. If you can only spare 40 minutes, how much care and thought is going to go into the present, I’d rather not get anything. To which a “oh I don’t know why you’re being like that, I can’t win, I say I’m getting you something…blah blah blah” So husband leaves the house, without a goodbye…

So I visit each of my gorgeous boys and express my upset that it’s my birthday tomorrow and they haven’t shown any forward thought to it, as you’re much more interested in what you’re doing now. Birthdays to me, are about recognising what that person has done for you all year and giving that extra thanks.

This is probably why I’ve never really liked my birthday. I do love to give to other people, it brings me great happiness. I do not expect anything in return, the energy exchange of the hug, thanks or grateful smile is enough. But with the people closest to me, who I give so much of myself to, I can’t help feeling disappointed at their lack of effort.

My middle son, (after he’d finished that match he was playing on ps4, obviously) did jump up and start making me a card, which is the best type. Then he text me to say he was walking to the shops, obviously not wanting to come anywhere near me in person. As I looked out of the window, the heavens had opened, with a flash downpour Adelaide is becoming famous for. My heart dropped, he was going to be drenched. So I grabbed my car keys and headed out to pick him up, just as my oldest was about to walk to the shops too. Our exchange wasn’t pleasant, as he was in defensive mode that Dad didn’t tell him, he didn’t know he’d gone, I was going to give him money, I didn’t get chance to get you anything..again blah blah blah. I said you have all year to buy a birthday gift for your Mum. Shall I adopt the same behaviour when it’s your birthday in a few weeks, Oh I didn’t have time to get you anything, there’s no party because I couldn’t be bothered to get dressed and lazed around watching TV all day instead.
The youngest he did say he’d make me a card, but couldn’t leave his game right now, because he couldn’t save it. So I said, if that’s the most important thing in your world right now, then you carry on. I’m just explaining how I feel. He decided he could leave the game and started to make a card 🙂

Stress in it’s rawness

Each person in our house dealt with this stressful situation differently.

Husband – defensive and deflection
Oldest – blaming others
Middle – slight aloofness, then acceptance and action
Youngest – bewilderment, reasoning, then acceptance

Me – rage, upset, flight, regret, sadness, fight, anger, bewilderment, numbness, acceptance.

We all have a belief system about ourself. Mostly we have been given this label throughout our life by subconscious programming from others. She won’t talk to you, because she’s shy….He’s so bold and will do anything, ….She’s a dolly daydreamer, always away with the fairies….. But what happens when we start to question that. We can no longer live this false truth. Mine has been, oh she’s the good one, never a bit of trouble. Which is positive and caring, but comes with an amount of burden too. What if I don’t want to be the one who thinks of others before myself, what if I matter too?

This exchange happened because of lack of communication. I wasn’t expressing my thoughts and feelings gradually, saying “you know what, I’d really like to be cherished and looked after on my birthday, It’s important to me”. Instead I’d say, “oh it doesn’t matter”, “I’m not bothered, I’ll put it money my dressing table/art stuff/insert blank here… Containing and releasing it all in one go, has a varied response on the recipient, which can deflect back onto the person trying to express themselves, but that’s their stuff not yours. It’s not your responsibility to nurture other peoples feelings when you’re upset at lack of care shown towards you, but it is your responsibility to say how you feel throughout, without any need for hurt and recrimination. I’m grateful every day to have a little family of my very own, because I know in an instant life changes, so I cherish every magnificent and mundane moment of life. It is ok to feel let down sometimes, it is ok to voice unpopular opinions and it’s ok to let it go and move on.

Things aren’t always what they seem

So there you have it. On the outside people can appear calm and collected, but the river runs deep. I hear all the time clients and friends saying, oh but their life is so perfect, I see the pictures on Facebook and they’re always doing this and declaring that. But is this real? The outside doesn’t always show what goes on inside. All we can control is how we feel. We need to realise we control our thoughts and feelings, they don’t control us. When we honour this and take control of our minds, we become very powerful. And with gratitude we also find happiness in everything. The leaves on the trees, the wind, the rain and all the beauty around us.

So on the eve of Valentine’s, what will your day hold? Will you find disappointment, because it doesn’t go as you planned in your head? Or will you take action, book a nurturing treatment, walk in nature, catch up with an old friend and make it the best day for you? The choice is yours.

Karen Aitken

Kasona
Be Happy – Stress Less
6 Ridgeway drive
Flagstaff hill
5159
0414 973394
www.kasona.com.au
kasonamassage@gmail.com

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How to love your body

make-you-life It’s quite simple. It starts with acceptance.

When I first met Donna, she was on a diet. I asked “how long have you been on a diet for?” She said “as long as I can remember”. So I said “what if you’re perfect how you are and this is how you’re supposed to be?” She said, “no that’s too depressing, ofcourse I’m supposed to be thinner than this”. That was 17 years ago, she’s still has the same body shape and size and is still on a diet.

It’s all in your head

I have had body confidence issues since I was a teenager and it took me until my late thirties to overcome them. I didn’t do it by constantly dieting, because we know how that goes. I did it by self love and acceptance. Each morning I’d avoid the mirror while dressing, because I’d focus on my thunder thighs. I wouldn’t swim at the beach, because the walk of shame from my towel to the water, would surely make EVERYONE put their books down, stop throwing the ball to their children and halt all the surfers mid wave, because they all would be so disgusted with my white wobbly flesh.

Be careful what you think, because you’re listening

When we say horrible things to people, we know they’re not going to feel good. So why say and think horrible things about yourself and expect good things to happen? You can only motivate change by being kind and helpful.
So I decided to started to take extra care of myself. Before the shower I put a drop of doTERRA frankincense or Elevation blend essential oil behind my ears and take a moment to breathe. In the shower, I’d let the warm flowing water soothe me. I’d use nice smelling, good aromatherapy shower gel. As I gently massages each body part I’d concentrate on what I did want from my body, not what I didn’t.
I’d think how thankful I am for my legs and how they carried me everyday and took me places. How my stomach was smooth and gave me nourishment from all the good food I ate. How my arms cuddled all the people I loved. How my skin was soft and gave me protection. Until I’d mentioned every part of me.

I felt a little silly at first and to be honest, I thought what am I doing. But I carried on. Day after day. Even added a little tune to it. It made me feel happy.

Change your thoughts, change your life

Then amazing things started happening in my life.
I didn’t want to feed my body processed foods or sugar. I wanted pure whole foods, because I loved my body and I wanted to treat it well.
I didn’t want to put chemicals on my skin, because I knew they would poison my blood stream. This is when I discovered doTERRA essential oils and use them daily to enhance my mood, on my body to cleanse and rejuvenate my skin and a natural way to clean my house!!
I wanted to move my body, so I started to exercise regularly.
My skin improved. My relationship with my husband and children flourished. I finally loved and accepted myself. Live in the moment.
We all need a little help sometimes. What if applying a couple of drops of pure theraputic grade essential oils, like doTERRA could help you live a happier life. To find out more have a look here or reach out and get in touch.

Beware of destination addiction, I’ll be better when I’m …… Enjoy the journey, enjoy your life.

Best and powerful wishes

Karen Aitken

Stress management coach, trainer and remedial massage therapist
Kasona – Be happy, stress less
w: www.kasona.com.au
t: 0414 973394
e: kasonamassage@gmail.com

“Of this be sure. You don’t find the happy life, you make it” Thomas S Manson

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Recognising stress in teenagers – The signs aren’t always what you think

Recognising stress in teenagers

Recognising stress in teenager, the signs aren’t always what you think.

My teenager has recently been pushing the limits. He’s not doing any of the heavy stuff just yet (or at least not to our knowledge) but, he’s being doing “just” what he can get away with, taking more than he’s giving, saying he’s too tired to help out, shutting himself away behind his head phones when he ventures into family territory of the kitchen and staying in his room to chat with his friends (online obviously not in person, duh).

When it got to the point I was frustrated and feeling angry with some choices he was making, it was time to have a family meeting to address all our feelings. My husband was on board, so we spoke about what was going on and what changes were needed. It came to light he was feeling low and was shutting himself away and not interacting, because he needed time to himself. Being happy around friends all day, he was finding exhausting. His laid back attitude and not taking responsibility was a cover up to his negative thoughts and stress. He didn’t understand why he felt this way, because he said he had nothing to be sad about. He had great friends, doing well at school, loved his home and hobbies, but still felt low.

As a counsellor and stress management coach, it’s hard to see your loved ones going through struggles, because a lot of the time they don’t reach out because they know you have ideas and solutions as you’ve seen it a hundred times before. So I resisted offering a solution and just listened. I listened to how he felt. I listened until he was ready to find his solution. I said talk about how you feel, especially if you don’t understand it. There’s no right or wrong way to feel.

What to do

One thing I will say, keep communication open as much as possible, try not to judge what they say. Listen to understand, not to react.

When someone around you has low energy, want to shut away, come home and get into bed. Get them to fully acknowledge that they feel that way, accept and honour those feelings, they have every right to feel that way if they want to. But get them to ask themselves, “do I want to stay feeling like this?”

If the answer is no, then do the complete opposite of what they have been doing.

• Do 10 star jumps
• Put trainers on and run to the end of the street,
• Knock on a neighbours door and offer to cut their lawn or walk their dog.
• Do something active, even if it’s only 10 minutes.

Then ask them to notice how they feel. Sometimes breaking the thought pattern with something random, can be enough to change how you feel.

Make a time to factor this into their day, everyday. Exercise is positive stress, which your mind and body needs to stay strong and well. Go with them, so you’re both enjoying a positive experience. Let them talk, or not talk if that’s what they want. Don’t use it as a time to lecture, deal with your own feelings about the situation with a friend or seek professional help yourself, or book a calming massage. Diffusing Lavender therapeutic blend essential oil, could be what you and your teenager need to calm and refocus.

Recognising stress

Stress doesn’t always manifest itself in the way you think it will. The stereotypical white collar worker, at his desk, mounds of paperwork, deadlines, red in the face, on his second heart attack, isn’t the only way stress is shown.
Children feel stress too. They show it in similar ways to adults, shutting down emotionally, feeling tired, over loaded, blaming others, getting angry, sleeping a lot, not being able to sleep, not taking anything seriously and laughing all the time, is also a cover up for how they’re really feeling.

The point I’m trying to make here. How we feel is our responsibility. Your teenager needs to learn that they control their mind and thoughts, their mind doesn’t control them unless they allow it.

If we see negative feeling as weeds, they can take over your garden if you don’t first of all notice them, then do something about them.

Keeping their eye on the prize

Positive thoughts and feelings need love and attention. Keeping your eye on the prize of how you want to feel, what you want in your life and what steps you need to make to get there. It can be uncomfortable recognising this, never mind actually doing anything about it. But the only way to the other side is through. Avoiding or going around it, doesn’t deal with it and certainly doesn’t eradicate it. A personal trainer I know has a great saying “be comfortable with the uncomfortable” using energy to work towards what you do want, instead of using energy putting up with what you don’t.

A lesson for all of us. Be grateful for what you have in your life right now, especially the little things. Be thankful for all your experiences, because they’ve made you who you are today. Use that knowledge to help yourself and others to have the best life they can. Reach out to other people, we’re social being and we need interaction in our lives.

As for my son, we’ve set guidelines in place for him to engage more, no headphones in family areas, communicate and socialise with family, even if it’s not the most exciting part of his day. It’s important to create a neural pathway that siblings, though annoying, are not going away and the more you put into a relationship, the more you get out.
So tonight we’re going to the beach to surf and have a laugh. That’s his happy place, find yours, because you’re worth it.

Karen Aitken
Kasona
Be happy – Stress less
Stress management – Remedial massage – Holistic therapies – Training courses
w: www.kasona.com.au
t: 0414 973394
e: kasonamassage@gmail.com

“wherever possible be kind, it’s always possible” Dalai Lama

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Depression – How to stop existing and start living

depression-picWhether you live with someone or have it within yourself, you have to ask yourself whether you’re a helper or an enabler.

Negative thoughts and feelings are a natural function of a healthy mind. It’s there to keep us safe from harm. Shall I step off this ladder, no it’s dangerous, shall I jump in this freezing rough sea, no I’ll probably drown. It’s good to ask your mind questions, because it likes to work out solutions to your problems. But with depressive and anxious thoughts, it can be like a washing machine, going around and around, over and over the same point, bringing in new references to why you should be feeling this low, because he said this, she did that, life’s unfair, they died, and so on.

When you witness this everyday in someone you love, it can be heartbreaking. I know all about this, as most of my close family members have had depression and negative thoughts, I’ve lived with it and suffered along with them. But it’s like someone addicted to drugs or alcohol, until they want to help themselves, you are powerless. You can take someone to rehab, but you can’t do the work for them to address the reasons why they got addicted in the first place. Now a few people out there will be outraged that I can compare a drug addict to a depressed person. But what’s the difference? Do you think a drug addict woke up one day and thought, hey I’m feeling on top of my game, I think I’ll go out and get myself some drugs. No, they most likely have experienced difficult circumstances, family issues, hardship, depressive thoughts, been constantly let down, thrown out of home, family turned their back on them, many different factors until they thought, hey, I want to feel something different to this and drugs gave them the release they needed at the time.

I’ve counselled and worked with teenagers and adults who have a difficult relationship with drugs and alcohol, and it’s almost the same story as counselling and working with people experiencing depression, except the drug addict has found a change, has actually thought I’ve had enough of this. They most likely didn’t have a loving partner beside them, with kids that adored them, a mother and father that would do anything for them. So drugs were their answer.

The Causes

So why does depression start? Depression is a series of negative thought patterns, behaviours and exposure to stress. Like weeds in the garden, if left to grow, it will take over and this will become ‘normal’ and all the beautiful flowers and happy thoughts don’t see any light, so wither away. It’s not that they’re not there, you have thousands, even millions more happy experiences than sad, it’s just the negative ones are stronger feelings with more emotional juice in them, and get all the attention. A happy experience is breathing in fresh air, a smile on someone’s face, a green field, a tree coming into blossom, but without practice, we don’t allow ourselves to feel them as a positive, we just see it as nothing.

You can be going along nicely, happy childhood, married, children, good but stressful job, social life, then BAM! Like been hit by a truck filled with negative thoughts.

Our brain is like a filing system, each experience is stored, we have a reference library that take us to the memory, through many different pathways. As we get older, we do not have the energy to contain the negative experiences anymore, like holding down numerous beach balls under the water’s surface, after a while it becomes exhausting. Also when we’re young and carefree you tend not to dwell on the past.

One scenario I have seen many times. When you have children and they reach an age where something traumatic has happened, maybe your father could have died when you were 6 years old, or even something happened you don’t consciously remember. You can think you’re totally fine about it, but as your son, daughter or even niece or nephew reaches that age, familiar thoughts and feelings arise from your subconscious memory, you may feel uncomfortable and begin to get stressed. Or you may begin to feel low, but cannot pin it to anything in particular. As your mind and body feel out of balance, causing you to act on your stress response, you may use one or more of the five F’s. You may anger quickly (fight), you might shut yourself away (flight), completely shutdown (freeze) make silly jokes to deflect the situation (funny) or you may shut down completely (faint).
Prolonged exposure to negative thoughts and feelings, creates a pathway in your mind so it becomes normal to feel that way. You almost forget how to feel good. Especially if you don’t socialise or exercise anymore due to feeling low, you won’t be getting the top up of endorphins from having a good laugh with friends or the excitement of a sporting event.

Just remember, you are not broken, you’re a complete success. It’s just you’re doing something you no longer want to do. Learning techniques on how to deal with negative thought patterns is essential to finding a solution. Each person is unique and this needs to be acknowledged. I would work with one person in a different manner to another. We all have a belief system about ourself and the world we live in. Looking at the negative thought for what it is, a thought, then acknowledging it and what it means, then releasing it, and switching to a positive thought and feeling. This halts that particular thought pathway and redirects it to a positive neural pathway, resulting in a good feeling.

When we run from the left hand side of our brain, negative thoughts can spiral. Bringing in more creative and positive right hand brain thoughts, helps to disperse the negative.

It takes practice and determination. But remember it’s only one thought at a time. Instead of training your body to get fitter, you’re training your mind to become stronger and think the way you want it to. Your mind does not control you, it is a thinking system and you control your thoughts. Halting a negative one before it has time to take route and grow, simply by saying “STOP. I no longer need to feel this way, I am safe, I am here now, not back there, I am an adult and I am in control of how I feel, I’m not in the past, it’s not real, it’s just a thought”.

If you are living or are close to a negative thinker, when they start to say something, you can acknowledge what they say and then compliment them, or do something unexpected like give them a hug or kiss, say how fantastic they are. This alone can distract from the negative thought. You also have to remember not to feed the negative thought as you then become an enabler, saying “oh I know, you have it so hard and remember the time when this happened, it was so bad”.

It’s very important to look after yourself if you’re in a relationship with a depressive thought taker, because you can also become down. As with a drug addict, if they promise to get help and do nothing, you have to ask yourself is this the life I want? To be with someone who has no intention of trying to be their best self. It’s not about giving ultimatums, it’s about looking honestly at your own life too. Sometimes you can stay with a negative person who insults you, never seems to appreciate what you do, doesn’t even look at you when you speak to them and this can become “normal” for you too. This can be because you’re repeating old patterns and beliefs from your upbringing, this is how my Mum spoke to my Dad, or Dad to my Mum, or how I was spoken to and treated by an aunt or uncle. As a child we can only do so much, especially if it’s a caregiver displaying these behaviours, but as an adult we are responsible to how we feel and who we have around us.

I have listened to so many stories from people of all ages, some in their 60’s and 70’s who have a living parent, how the mother or father still speaks to them how they did when they were growing up. They’ve accepted this is how it is, because they never have thought there is another way. Even though they could have gone on to have a successful career (many are still seeking approval of parent’s this is why they have to do so well) or moved from one relationship to the next, never really knowing why they break apart, or not knowing why they feel so low. Breaking the pattern is easier than you might think it is.

How to raise your positive vibrations

Spend 10 minutes of your day, while you’re in the shower, before you get up on a morning, while you’re sipping your morning tea.
Close your eyes. Think about 3 things you are grateful for that is in your life right now. One of them being a very small thing like the breeze on your face or the sound of the wind in the trees, or the rain against the window.
After that think of yourself and imagine positive energy and light going through the top of your head and going to every part of you, into your heart, to your fingers and toes, all through every cell of your body. Then think of that positive energy going to your partner, your children, your dog or cat. Then extend that out to your friends and other members of your family, think only positive thoughts about them. Send them love and caring. Then extend that out to your clients at work, anyone that you have met, people living far away, people you haven’t met who could be going through a tough time that you’ve heard about. Remember only positive thoughts, not about their situation, just sending them good vibrations and love.
Then see a situation that has been troubling you, or you haven’t worked to a solution yet. Just notice it, let it play in your head and see it resolving without you having to do anything. Watch it over and over until it becomes accepted by you that this is how it is.
Repeat this everyday and you will notice by improving your inner world, impacts positively on your outer world and people around you.

Nurture and give yourself what you need. If you need to talk to someone, do it.
I’m determined to break down any remaining stigma attached to mental health. I’ve developed a Mindful Massage that addresses the body’s stress response to old patterns, beliefs and experiences, clearing negative thought patterns with energy work, and releasing tension in muscles and ligaments with hot stones and remedial massage. I’ve had phenomenal results from many happy people.

Do what you need to get what you want from your life, you’re in control.

Nameste

Karen Aitken

web: www.kasona.com.au
email: kasonamassage@gmail.com
phone: +61 (0) 414 973394

Contact Us

Call Karen on 0414 973 394
Or email kasonamassage@gmail.com

5 Grassdale Rise,
Aberfoyle Park, 5159, Australia

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