August 22, 2017 By Karen

Trust me, you’ve got it

Trust me, you've got this — Relax and take five, you’ve got this 🙂

I’m totally amazed at human resilience and determination. No matter what life throws at people, they have the ability to take a deep breath and carry on.

Stress hits us at times we think we really can’t take anymore. Loved ones getting ill and possibly facing their last breath, business’s where heart and soul has been invested into them folding and leaving you homeless, and day to day grind of putting one foot in front of the other, even though your bed was warm, you got up and ready for work. You smiled at your kids as they tipped the cereal box too far so it goes all over the floor, spilling milk onto their last school uniform, just as the dog throws up all over the rug (because the easy cleaned tiled floor right next to them isn’t where they aim for).

When life gets too hard
When life seems too hard, overloading and down right unfair. Just be safe knowing you’ve got this, you have dealt with so much in your life, that this situation, no matter what it is, no matter how difficult and stressful, is only temporary, you will get through it. But you don’t have to do it alone. Reach out, ask for support, be vulnerable and communicate with a friend, relative or professional that you have an understanding relationship with. Clients, friends and fri-ents know that my door is always open. Just reach out and connect.

When you need help

But what about when the therapist needs some support too, where does she turn?. I recently was so low I really had the urge to run away. I did reach out and messaged a friend and opened up, to be greeted with no response all day, which confused and upset me. I could see she’d read the message (blessing and curse of iPhones) but no response.

Now if I was feeling self destructive I could internalise this and decide no one is interested in what’s going on, but it’s all about timing and choosing wisely. Don’t give up after the first encounter, be acknowledged, be heard, make sure you get what you need. Sometimes a busy friend isn’t the best person to reach out to. Booking an actual session with a qualified professional, be that a counsellor or an amazing massage therapist who you can relax with. Remember, the first pancake you make is usually wet and soggy, you don’t give up on the first one and think they’re all going to be like that, you keep going. If the first one doesn’t hit the spot, open up to another, then another. Pause and gather your thoughts. Breathe and know you’ve got this, you’re in safe hands (your own) and you can and will find the lesson in this encounter and move on to feeling happy again, when you’re ready.

Just remember you don’t have to “fix this” right now. Let it settle, let it be, put it out to the universe to give an answer, ask questions, be curious how and why it’s happened now.

If you’ve been diagnosed with a disease, it’s a dis-ease with yourself. Think about how you can get back in balance with your emotions, your life, your relationships with self and others and how you can nourish and replenish yourself. Get to the route cause of the issue and there you will find your answers, the pieces of the puzzle that maybe were out of place. Your body is a slave to your mind and it has an amazing ability to heal, allow it to happen. Treating symptoms with drugs, puts a sticking plaster over the wound, then a side effect from suppressing the body’s healing system will occur, so more drugs will be needed to feel “normal” again. Please know there is no such thing as normal, it is just a setting on the dishwasher.

Managing the overload
I have clients that all of a sudden start experiencing feelings of being overwhelmed. They can no longer function well at work and are unable to think straight. A client called John came into my clinic the other day. He’s been having dizzy spells, brain fog and anxiety. On further investigation into his belief system and where he learned it, he discovered he was doing a job he felt he needed to do to support his family, his relationship with his wife lacked emotional and physical affection and his kids were now independent and left home. He hadn’t addressed how he felt about how he always felt responsible to his mother, with his father been mostly absent and then dying at an early age. How he has always had so much pressure to perform.

After bringing him to the now, breathing and releasing the negative charge from his emotions, he set some intentions for what he wanted, he enjoyed how excited he felt channeling his energy into this. How his relationship with himself is the most important. How to feel and ask for what he needs. How living a life caring for others is important, but not if it strips you of your identity. Respect and appreciation is not only feels good, but is necessary. A person that is appreciated will do 110% and still want to do more, but someone who has expectations to perform without even being thanked, will feel taken advantage of and their self worth will depleted.

Your happiness is your destiny
I urge you to find your own rhythm and path in life. Life isn’t always easy, but it sure can be fun. Love the ones you’re with, send positive thoughts to those you’re not with and always communicate your thoughts and feelings. Build and nurture your soul. You’re SO worth it.

Best wishes

Karen

Kasona – Be happy, stress less
www.kasona.com.au
0414 973394

April 12, 2017 By Karen

The art of self care and why you should do it

The person that gets the formula for work/life balance right all the time, could bottle it and make millions. But what is right for one person, is the complete opposite of what another person needs.

But why do it? Is it that important to be balanced and look after yourself.. ABSOLUTELY YES.

Recently I’ve been having problems with my lower back. It’s been causing lots of pain, affected how I’ve felt and my relationships. Getting up on a morning has taken more time than usual. How has this happened? Because I’ve been busy looking after everyone else, but letting the things that feed my soul slip.

People view pain in many different ways. It is a useful tool that your mind uses to keep you safe, an energy blockage in your joints and a reminder you have to look after yourself.

Pain manifests in our mind first, then presents itself in our bodies. Dealing with how we view pain is the first step to releasing it. If we concentrate on the pain, see it as a problem, feed it with more references why we should be in pain eg. my back aches because I always have a bad back, my Dad had bad back, there’s athritus in our family so I’ll get it when I’m in my forties too, my back aches when I’m stressed. It’s an endless list why we should have pain. But what if we saw this pain as an opportunity to change and grow? If we acknowledged we feel pain in this moment, but what can I do to find a solution. Do I need to look at my diet to reduce inflammation in my body, do I need to stretch and exercise more, do I need to think positive thoughts about myself and other people? These questions alone can put you on the path to feeling better.

: Live boldly

To make a change, I had a big think about what my purpose was, why am I here?. I’m a seeker of knowledge, I watch many Ted talks and inspirational speakers who’ve turned their lives around from being at their lowest to now feeling fulfilled and happy. And I realised my purpose is to help as many people as possible to deal with their stress and find a happier self. Starting with me.

In my stress management and massage work, I strive to empower others. One step is to create understanding on how to evaluate whether the problem is theirs or someone else’s, because there’s many people out there that would like you to believe you are the route of all their problems, so you need to change. But when we step back and take time to look objectively, it could be the issue lies with them and you simply enable it. Then I help work out what steps to success they need to climb to reach their goals. I use the word climb on purpose too, not because it’ll be a struggle, but because when we climb to another level, we can look down and see how far we have come too, not just how far we still need to go.

Problems are present in every situation and each step of our lives. It’s how we perceive them that makes a difference to how we feel. If we embrace the challenge and see problems as opportunities for knowledge, growth and understanding, we make a switch in our minds and we become a happier and healthier self.

I can’t control time, but I can manage my time better. So I’m back on track, every morning before breakfast I start with
Uddyana Bandha breathing which releases the abdominal lock which channels energy in the central energy meridian
A few simple yoga stretches,
I give gratitude to 5 things in my life and
I consciously let go of negative thoughts I have about myself and others. A thought only becomes true if it’s backed up with a deep belief.
I also walk every day and have regular massages.

Making changes in my regular routine has released my back pain, given me mental clarity and brought greater happiness in my life. I invite you to have a self care policy that gives you what you need to feel good and in balance. If you need a little help in finding it, give me a call and we’ll work through it together.

Find your purpose and skills to change how you think, feel and be.

Karen Aitken
Remedial massage therapist & Stress management coach
0414 973394
www.kasona.com.au

By changing your inner world and your outer world changes too – Robert G Smith

April 12, 2017 By Karen

5 Health benefits of massage

1. Great for stress reduction – Regular massages are paramount to managing everyday stress and getting your mind back in balance. Our muscles and ligaments have a memory, each stressful event is stored in the cells and fibres in our body. Bodywork such as massage alleviates this. At Kasona we incorporate mindfulness and breathing into each treatment too.
It’s important to find the right therapist for you. If you’re laid there thinking this isn’t how I like it or what I want, you’re not going to relax or gain any great benefit from it. Communication is key. Once you find the right therapist, book in regularly to secure the time that fits your schedule and stick to it.

2. Strengthens immune system – We can’t always stop ourselves getting our neighbour’s or family member’s colds and bugs, but we can decrease the impact it has on our health. Having a strong immune system assists our body to move the virus along quicker, with limited down time. There’s an added benefit when using essential oils in your massage. At Kasona we use what you need, when you need it, with a take home sample if required too.

3. Aids Lymphatic system – Our lymphatic fluid needs stimulation to flow effectively. Massage is a very effective tool to clear out toxins held in your body. Too many people have sedentary jobs and watch TV when they get home. Movement is required to keep your lymphatic system clearing. Massage stimulates and promotes a healthy well being.

4. Reduces pain – Pain is manifested in the mind first. Massage can reduce or turn the inflammatory response off after injury or trauma, elevating stress and restriction. Increasing positive blood flow around the body improves muscle and ligament function, reduces tightness and releases pain held within the body. Many people live with pain everyday. It doesn’t have to be that way.

5. Improves relationship with self – Body issues are in a lot of people’s everyday life. When you learn how to feel good in your body, you can fully relax and give yourself over to receive the pleasure of a massage. A good therapist will walk you through these steps. Our body has many pleasure receptors. By stimulating nerve endings, relaxing muscles and ligaments, this sends messages to your brain that “this is good and I deserve to feel this way”. These are all part of having a greater sense of self.

Karen Aitken
Remedial massage therapist & Stress management coach
0414 973394
www.kasona.com.au

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”― Dalai Lama XIV

February 13, 2017 By Karen

How to know and own your self worth

Sooooo, Valentine day. Is it a man made forced romantic load of nonsense, or a useful measure of how much a potential new flame, partner or even children have been thinking about you?.

Not in the how much they spend , but the gestures and thoughtfulness throughout the day. I know we shouldn’t need a day to do this, it should be in our relationship daily, but taking time to reflect and honour each other has to be a good thing, right?

I came across a piece I wrote on the eve of my birthday last year. I now feel ready to share it. The pain and disappointment has eased. I thought it could be useful to know, even though I’ve been a stress management coach and remedial massage therapist for many years, seeing hundreds of happy clients, balancing out negative energies and soothing souls all day. Sometimes my wheels fall off the wagon too. I don’t always communicate effectively, I contain and let it go, in a not so controlled manner. Here’s how it went, enjoy!

Birthday blues

I’m absolutely fuming and disappointed with the whole thing of being a mother and being a wife. Countless hours I spend doing things for other people, putting their needs before my own, making sure they’re fed well, looked after, emotionally stable, entertained, dropped off and picked up from various, sometimes miles away destinations, at different ends of the day. I thought I was raising the next generation of caring and thoughtful boys, who would go on to cherish and nurture their partners and children and all living beings. But no. I’ve now come to the conclusion I live in a house of narcissists

It’s my birthday tomorrow. No big deal. I’ve heard my husband mention a few times, “oh I’ve not got you anything yet”, “I’ll nip out on Saturday (the day before)” So Saturday comes around, he’s got someone coming over to pick up some stuff, then we’re meeting friends for lunch, so he said he has 40 minutes. He’d tried to rally the kids a few times, but they were still in their pj’s, doing their various screen pursuits.

So I said, you know what, don’t bother, I don’t want anything. If you can only spare 40 minutes, how much care and thought is going to go into the present, I’d rather not get anything. To which a “oh I don’t know why you’re being like that, I can’t win, I say I’m getting you something…blah blah blah” So husband leaves the house, without a goodbye…

So I visit each of my gorgeous boys and express my upset that it’s my birthday tomorrow and they haven’t shown any forward thought to it, as you’re much more interested in what you’re doing now. Birthdays to me, are about recognising what that person has done for you all year and giving that extra thanks.

This is probably why I’ve never really liked my birthday. I do love to give to other people, it brings me great happiness. I do not expect anything in return, the energy exchange of the hug, thanks or grateful smile is enough. But with the people closest to me, who I give so much of myself to, I can’t help feeling disappointed at their lack of effort.

My middle son, (after he’d finished that match he was playing on ps4, obviously) did jump up and start making me a card, which is the best type. Then he text me to say he was walking to the shops, obviously not wanting to come anywhere near me in person. As I looked out of the window, the heavens had opened, with a flash downpour Adelaide is becoming famous for. My heart dropped, he was going to be drenched. So I grabbed my car keys and headed out to pick him up, just as my oldest was about to walk to the shops too. Our exchange wasn’t pleasant, as he was in defensive mode that Dad didn’t tell him, he didn’t know he’d gone, I was going to give him money, I didn’t get chance to get you anything..again blah blah blah. I said you have all year to buy a birthday gift for your Mum. Shall I adopt the same behaviour when it’s your birthday in a few weeks, Oh I didn’t have time to get you anything, there’s no party because I couldn’t be bothered to get dressed and lazed around watching TV all day instead.
The youngest he did say he’d make me a card, but couldn’t leave his game right now, because he couldn’t save it. So I said, if that’s the most important thing in your world right now, then you carry on. I’m just explaining how I feel. He decided he could leave the game and started to make a card 🙂

Stress in it’s rawness

Each person in our house dealt with this stressful situation differently.

Husband – defensive and deflection
Oldest – blaming others
Middle – slight aloofness, then acceptance and action
Youngest – bewilderment, reasoning, then acceptance

Me – rage, upset, flight, regret, sadness, fight, anger, bewilderment, numbness, acceptance.

We all have a belief system about ourself. Mostly we have been given this label throughout our life by subconscious programming from others. She won’t talk to you, because she’s shy….He’s so bold and will do anything, ….She’s a dolly daydreamer, always away with the fairies….. But what happens when we start to question that. We can no longer live this false truth. Mine has been, oh she’s the good one, never a bit of trouble. Which is positive and caring, but comes with an amount of burden too. What if I don’t want to be the one who thinks of others before myself, what if I matter too?

This exchange happened because of lack of communication. I wasn’t expressing my thoughts and feelings gradually, saying “you know what, I’d really like to be cherished and looked after on my birthday, It’s important to me”. Instead I’d say, “oh it doesn’t matter”, “I’m not bothered, I’ll put it money my dressing table/art stuff/insert blank here… Containing and releasing it all in one go, has a varied response on the recipient, which can deflect back onto the person trying to express themselves, but that’s their stuff not yours. It’s not your responsibility to nurture other peoples feelings when you’re upset at lack of care shown towards you, but it is your responsibility to say how you feel throughout, without any need for hurt and recrimination. I’m grateful every day to have a little family of my very own, because I know in an instant life changes, so I cherish every magnificent and mundane moment of life. It is ok to feel let down sometimes, it is ok to voice unpopular opinions and it’s ok to let it go and move on.

Things aren’t always what they seem

So there you have it. On the outside people can appear calm and collected, but the river runs deep. I hear all the time clients and friends saying, oh but their life is so perfect, I see the pictures on Facebook and they’re always doing this and declaring that. But is this real? The outside doesn’t always show what goes on inside. All we can control is how we feel. We need to realise we control our thoughts and feelings, they don’t control us. When we honour this and take control of our minds, we become very powerful. And with gratitude we also find happiness in everything. The leaves on the trees, the wind, the rain and all the beauty around us.

So on the eve of Valentine’s, what will your day hold? Will you find disappointment, because it doesn’t go as you planned in your head? Or will you take action, book a nurturing treatment, walk in nature, catch up with an old friend and make it the best day for you? The choice is yours.

Karen Aitken

Kasona
Be Happy – Stress Less
6 Ridgeway drive
Flagstaff hill
5159
0414 973394
www.kasona.com.au
kasonamassage@gmail.com