February 27, 2019 By Karen

Finding your calm in the chaos

When the shit hits the fan and you have so many plates spinning in the air and you barely have time to breathe, it is still possible to find calm in the chaos?.

Meet Mabel, when she was a crazy puppy, she’d eat socks, shoes, dead things, poo, the dining room chairs, headboards, coffee tables and the latest is our mattress protector.

Now this picture is staged for demonstration purposes only. The original incident was met with much more swearing and arm flaying, and slightly more nudity (dropping towel due to arm flaying) She was discovered to be devouring our bed when she was left unattended while I had my 30 second turn around and get wet shower on a school morning. At present all 5 of us are sharing the small ensuite, because we currently have no walls or floor in our main bathroom.

Timings everything

At the time we got her we were having house renovations done,
lots of tools, equipment and random baths and toilets around our house, dust everywhere, so much dust!!!.
Work people in, out and around morning to night,
a new puppy (need I say more),
school blues,
after school sports,
teenagers ( need I say more!!),
work and social commitments,
juggling finances to pay for surprise extra things,
tiredness
the list goes on and on

But why did I feel so calm?

Because I’ve found a way to navigate through each and every one of these obstacles. I’ve found my true value, which is

family, relationships and connection.

All the other stress around me is just “stuff”. Yes they can be difficult and challenging, but they don’t affect my core values.

When you change how you look at a problem and see it as an opportunity to grow instead, even if you’re overwhelmed, upset and confused by what’s happened or what someone else has done to you. Say “I’m upset, overwhelmed and confused right now. I accept it” Kerwin Rae an inspirational speaker and business advisor says at times like these, ask yourself four questions.
1. What is the benefit of it?
2. What can I learn from it?
3. What skills will I gain that I didn’t have before? and
4. How is it going to help me move forward to bigger and better things?.

Then watch how your world changes, when you apply this logic to every problem.

My husband and I have had our differences of opinions on, well most subjects, one being getting a second dog. He’s danced his familiar dance, when things have been getting difficult, but I’ve just said, yes you can rant and complain, that’s up to you. Or you can take a breath and enjoy the ride. She’s going to be here for around another 14 years or so, decide if you either entertain or upset yourself with a hundred I told you so’s, or you flip your mind to the positives.

Although Mabel is a family dog, our youngest son (then aged 11) asked for a rescue dog for Christmas. That’s all he wanted, well apart from some chocolate of course. I said to him the other day, “on a scale 0 – 10 how much happier are you since Mabel came to live with us”…he said “mmmm out of 10, I’d have to say 22” So that’s what’s important, bringing love and happiness to our lives.

The stressful times pass. Like raising a child (or dog) and they become memories. You choose how you hold them.

Look at her now. Like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. Still partial to the occasional sock ( the sweatier the better)

“Your final step in your journey isn’t the most important, it’s your next”

I’ve helped many people “flip their switch to positive” with the treatments I offer. Having mindfulness, fasterEFT/Eutapics combined with hot stones and remedial massage has been just what my clients have needed to feel different and open themselves up to change. It’s a unique combination, that addresses old habits and patterns, then rewards your mind and body when you let it go.

If you know someone who could benefit from this, please forward on this email, or book in and see me yourself.

I’m all ears 🙂

Be bold, be couragious, stand tall. Nobody said it’d be easy, they just promised it would be worth it “anon”

Karen
www.kasona.com.au
0414 973394

May 13, 2017 By Karen

How Gratitude leads to Happiness

I’m learning more each day. I’m learning to be grateful for the small things, a smile, a meal, warmth from the fire, even for the bills.

When I say learning, I mean some days I’m not living in gratitude. I have negative thoughts. I take for granted the things that I feel should just happen, like seeing, hearing, even breathing. But speak to someone who these things don’t come easily, they will tell you they’re not aiming for fame and fortune, getting up on a morning and seeing the trees through the window or going for a walk would be a successful day for them.

Since doing a regular self care and yoga practice, I find that bringing awareness back to my breath is helping me to live a more fulfilled life.

So living in gratitude and abundance is a healthy state of being. In a Reiki treatment I will ask my client to ask for what they want, but they’ll receive what you need. By this I mean we should reach for the stars and put it out to the universe to have the best relationship, the car, the house, the wealth, the health and whatever else we want. We should put positive energy and thoughts to make our life the happiest and healthiest it could possibly be and take the steps to make it happen. But we will only receive what we can handle, otherwise it’ll slip through our fingers, because we’re not ready to receive yet.

If we have chronic fatigue for example, we should be telling ourselves we have energy in abundance, being thankful for opening our eyes this morning, the sunshine outside, our heart beat and the thousands of fantastic things our body does. Building on this everyday, becomes a ritual. Releasing any negative self talk and thought patterns, feeds our mind with joy and happiness. Positive neurons are rewired and reconnected and we little by little begin to feel better.

Some days you may feel low, but that’s just a day, or even a small part of the day.

Here are 7 simple steps to release negative thoughts and pain

1. Acknowledge the feeling,
2. Breathe in
3. Tense every muscle you can.
4. Ask whether I want to hold it?
5. Release it with it with the breath
6. Notice how good it feels.
7. Then switch to a positive memory or feeling to rewire your thoughts to feeling good.

I saw the perfect example of living life in gratitude just yesterday. I went to dear friend and colleague’s home. Her and her husband have just moved into the most amazing, absolute beach front apartment, with the view of the beach on one side and the hills on the other. Getting the amazing sunrise and fabulous sunset everyday. You may ask, how is this relevant?. But if I told you 6 years ago these people were homeless, being the victims, for want of a better word, of a major fraud where they lost everything, their home, investments, cars and some of their friends. They did house sitting, looking after animals, lived with friends. Like the phoenix from the flames, they became stronger and even grateful for the experience. Then someone offered for them to come and share her mansion, where they lived happily for 5 years. When they were ready, everything in their life improved. The more personal growth they did, the more they allowed abundance in all forms to flow to them.

Never give up on your hopes and dreams whatever they may be. The most successful people have lived in poverty, abusive relationships, had difficult times with drug or alcohol and nearly given up, but then they find the pearl in the oyster shell.

Ricky Gervais drifted from one thing to the next, then started writing comedy in his forties and now has net worth of $90 million. Now he spreads joy, happiness and wealth to many people and animals around the world.

Oprah Winfrey has spoken many times about her abusive childhood from which she ran away, she became pregnant at 14, but later her infant son died. She went on to work in radio, then host her own show. Her financial growth is worth billions, but her personal growth and how she has inspired many others to care for themselves is priceless.

Make your pearl in the oyster shell, to be living in gratitude and happiness. And keep on being awesome.

Much love
Karen Aitken

Remedial massage therapist & Stress management coach
Kasona – be happy, stress less
www.kasona.com.au
0414 973394

April 12, 2017 By Karen

The art of self care and why you should do it

The person that gets the formula for work/life balance right all the time, could bottle it and make millions. But what is right for one person, is the complete opposite of what another person needs.

But why do it? Is it that important to be balanced and look after yourself.. ABSOLUTELY YES.

Recently I’ve been having problems with my lower back. It’s been causing lots of pain, affected how I’ve felt and my relationships. Getting up on a morning has taken more time than usual. How has this happened? Because I’ve been busy looking after everyone else, but letting the things that feed my soul slip.

People view pain in many different ways. It is a useful tool that your mind uses to keep you safe, an energy blockage in your joints and a reminder you have to look after yourself.

Pain manifests in our mind first, then presents itself in our bodies. Dealing with how we view pain is the first step to releasing it. If we concentrate on the pain, see it as a problem, feed it with more references why we should be in pain eg. my back aches because I always have a bad back, my Dad had bad back, there’s athritus in our family so I’ll get it when I’m in my forties too, my back aches when I’m stressed. It’s an endless list why we should have pain. But what if we saw this pain as an opportunity to change and grow? If we acknowledged we feel pain in this moment, but what can I do to find a solution. Do I need to look at my diet to reduce inflammation in my body, do I need to stretch and exercise more, do I need to think positive thoughts about myself and other people? These questions alone can put you on the path to feeling better.

: Live boldly

To make a change, I had a big think about what my purpose was, why am I here?. I’m a seeker of knowledge, I watch many Ted talks and inspirational speakers who’ve turned their lives around from being at their lowest to now feeling fulfilled and happy. And I realised my purpose is to help as many people as possible to deal with their stress and find a happier self. Starting with me.

In my stress management and massage work, I strive to empower others. One step is to create understanding on how to evaluate whether the problem is theirs or someone else’s, because there’s many people out there that would like you to believe you are the route of all their problems, so you need to change. But when we step back and take time to look objectively, it could be the issue lies with them and you simply enable it. Then I help work out what steps to success they need to climb to reach their goals. I use the word climb on purpose too, not because it’ll be a struggle, but because when we climb to another level, we can look down and see how far we have come too, not just how far we still need to go.

Problems are present in every situation and each step of our lives. It’s how we perceive them that makes a difference to how we feel. If we embrace the challenge and see problems as opportunities for knowledge, growth and understanding, we make a switch in our minds and we become a happier and healthier self.

I can’t control time, but I can manage my time better. So I’m back on track, every morning before breakfast I start with
Uddyana Bandha breathing which releases the abdominal lock which channels energy in the central energy meridian
A few simple yoga stretches,
I give gratitude to 5 things in my life and
I consciously let go of negative thoughts I have about myself and others. A thought only becomes true if it’s backed up with a deep belief.
I also walk every day and have regular massages.

Making changes in my regular routine has released my back pain, given me mental clarity and brought greater happiness in my life. I invite you to have a self care policy that gives you what you need to feel good and in balance. If you need a little help in finding it, give me a call and we’ll work through it together.

Find your purpose and skills to change how you think, feel and be.

Karen Aitken
Remedial massage therapist & Stress management coach
0414 973394
www.kasona.com.au

By changing your inner world and your outer world changes too – Robert G Smith

April 12, 2017 By Karen

5 Health benefits of massage

1. Great for stress reduction – Regular massages are paramount to managing everyday stress and getting your mind back in balance. Our muscles and ligaments have a memory, each stressful event is stored in the cells and fibres in our body. Bodywork such as massage alleviates this. At Kasona we incorporate mindfulness and breathing into each treatment too.
It’s important to find the right therapist for you. If you’re laid there thinking this isn’t how I like it or what I want, you’re not going to relax or gain any great benefit from it. Communication is key. Once you find the right therapist, book in regularly to secure the time that fits your schedule and stick to it.

2. Strengthens immune system – We can’t always stop ourselves getting our neighbour’s or family member’s colds and bugs, but we can decrease the impact it has on our health. Having a strong immune system assists our body to move the virus along quicker, with limited down time. There’s an added benefit when using essential oils in your massage. At Kasona we use what you need, when you need it, with a take home sample if required too.

3. Aids Lymphatic system – Our lymphatic fluid needs stimulation to flow effectively. Massage is a very effective tool to clear out toxins held in your body. Too many people have sedentary jobs and watch TV when they get home. Movement is required to keep your lymphatic system clearing. Massage stimulates and promotes a healthy well being.

4. Reduces pain – Pain is manifested in the mind first. Massage can reduce or turn the inflammatory response off after injury or trauma, elevating stress and restriction. Increasing positive blood flow around the body improves muscle and ligament function, reduces tightness and releases pain held within the body. Many people live with pain everyday. It doesn’t have to be that way.

5. Improves relationship with self – Body issues are in a lot of people’s everyday life. When you learn how to feel good in your body, you can fully relax and give yourself over to receive the pleasure of a massage. A good therapist will walk you through these steps. Our body has many pleasure receptors. By stimulating nerve endings, relaxing muscles and ligaments, this sends messages to your brain that “this is good and I deserve to feel this way”. These are all part of having a greater sense of self.

Karen Aitken
Remedial massage therapist & Stress management coach
0414 973394
www.kasona.com.au

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
― Dalai Lama XIV

February 13, 2017 By Karen

How to know and own your self worth

Sooooo, Valentine day. Is it a man made forced romantic load of nonsense, or a useful measure of how much a potential new flame, partner or even children have been thinking about you?.

Not in the how much they spend , but the gestures and thoughtfulness throughout the day. I know we shouldn’t need a day to do this, it should be in our relationship daily, but taking time to reflect and honour each other has to be a good thing, right?

I came across a piece I wrote on the eve of my birthday last year. I now feel ready to share it. The pain and disappointment has eased. I thought it could be useful to know, even though I’ve been a stress management coach and remedial massage therapist for many years, seeing hundreds of happy clients, balancing out negative energies and soothing souls all day. Sometimes my wheels fall off the wagon too. I don’t always communicate effectively, I contain and let it go, in a not so controlled manner. Here’s how it went, enjoy!

Birthday blues

I’m absolutely fuming and disappointed with the whole thing of being a mother and being a wife. Countless hours I spend doing things for other people, putting their needs before my own, making sure they’re fed well, looked after, emotionally stable, entertained, dropped off and picked up from various, sometimes miles away destinations, at different ends of the day. I thought I was raising the next generation of caring and thoughtful boys, who would go on to cherish and nurture their partners and children and all living beings. But no. I’ve now come to the conclusion I live in a house of narcissists

It’s my birthday tomorrow. No big deal. I’ve heard my husband mention a few times, “oh I’ve not got you anything yet”, “I’ll nip out on Saturday (the day before)” So Saturday comes around, he’s got someone coming over to pick up some stuff, then we’re meeting friends for lunch, so he said he has 40 minutes. He’d tried to rally the kids a few times, but they were still in their pj’s, doing their various screen pursuits.

So I said, you know what, don’t bother, I don’t want anything. If you can only spare 40 minutes, how much care and thought is going to go into the present, I’d rather not get anything. To which a “oh I don’t know why you’re being like that, I can’t win, I say I’m getting you something…blah blah blah” So husband leaves the house, without a goodbye…

So I visit each of my gorgeous boys and express my upset that it’s my birthday tomorrow and they haven’t shown any forward thought to it, as you’re much more interested in what you’re doing now. Birthdays to me, are about recognising what that person has done for you all year and giving that extra thanks.

This is probably why I’ve never really liked my birthday. I do love to give to other people, it brings me great happiness. I do not expect anything in return, the energy exchange of the hug, thanks or grateful smile is enough. But with the people closest to me, who I give so much of myself to, I can’t help feeling disappointed at their lack of effort.

My middle son, (after he’d finished that match he was playing on ps4, obviously) did jump up and start making me a card, which is the best type. Then he text me to say he was walking to the shops, obviously not wanting to come anywhere near me in person. As I looked out of the window, the heavens had opened, with a flash downpour Adelaide is becoming famous for. My heart dropped, he was going to be drenched. So I grabbed my car keys and headed out to pick him up, just as my oldest was about to walk to the shops too. Our exchange wasn’t pleasant, as he was in defensive mode that Dad didn’t tell him, he didn’t know he’d gone, I was going to give him money, I didn’t get chance to get you anything..again blah blah blah. I said you have all year to buy a birthday gift for your Mum. Shall I adopt the same behaviour when it’s your birthday in a few weeks, Oh I didn’t have time to get you anything, there’s no party because I couldn’t be bothered to get dressed and lazed around watching TV all day instead.
The youngest he did say he’d make me a card, but couldn’t leave his game right now, because he couldn’t save it. So I said, if that’s the most important thing in your world right now, then you carry on. I’m just explaining how I feel. He decided he could leave the game and started to make a card 🙂

Stress in it’s rawness

Each person in our house dealt with this stressful situation differently.

Husband – defensive and deflection
Oldest – blaming others
Middle – slight aloofness, then acceptance and action
Youngest – bewilderment, reasoning, then acceptance

Me – rage, upset, flight, regret, sadness, fight, anger, bewilderment, numbness, acceptance.

We all have a belief system about ourself. Mostly we have been given this label throughout our life by subconscious programming from others. She won’t talk to you, because she’s shy….He’s so bold and will do anything, ….She’s a dolly daydreamer, always away with the fairies….. But what happens when we start to question that. We can no longer live this false truth. Mine has been, oh she’s the good one, never a bit of trouble. Which is positive and caring, but comes with an amount of burden too. What if I don’t want to be the one who thinks of others before myself, what if I matter too?

This exchange happened because of lack of communication. I wasn’t expressing my thoughts and feelings gradually, saying “you know what, I’d really like to be cherished and looked after on my birthday, It’s important to me”. Instead I’d say, “oh it doesn’t matter”, “I’m not bothered, I’ll put it money my dressing table/art stuff/insert blank here… Containing and releasing it all in one go, has a varied response on the recipient, which can deflect back onto the person trying to express themselves, but that’s their stuff not yours. It’s not your responsibility to nurture other peoples feelings when you’re upset at lack of care shown towards you, but it is your responsibility to say how you feel throughout, without any need for hurt and recrimination. I’m grateful every day to have a little family of my very own, because I know in an instant life changes, so I cherish every magnificent and mundane moment of life. It is ok to feel let down sometimes, it is ok to voice unpopular opinions and it’s ok to let it go and move on.

Things aren’t always what they seem

So there you have it. On the outside people can appear calm and collected, but the river runs deep. I hear all the time clients and friends saying, oh but their life is so perfect, I see the pictures on Facebook and they’re always doing this and declaring that. But is this real? The outside doesn’t always show what goes on inside. All we can control is how we feel. We need to realise we control our thoughts and feelings, they don’t control us. When we honour this and take control of our minds, we become very powerful. And with gratitude we also find happiness in everything. The leaves on the trees, the wind, the rain and all the beauty around us.

So on the eve of Valentine’s, what will your day hold? Will you find disappointment, because it doesn’t go as you planned in your head? Or will you take action, book a nurturing treatment, walk in nature, catch up with an old friend and make it the best day for you? The choice is yours.

Karen Aitken

Kasona
Be Happy – Stress Less
6 Ridgeway drive
Flagstaff hill
5159
0414 973394
www.kasona.com.au
kasonamassage@gmail.com