May 13, 2017 By Karen

How Gratitude leads to Happiness

I’m learning more each day. I’m learning to be grateful for the small things, a smile, a meal, warmth from the fire, even for the bills.

When I say learning, I mean some days I’m not living in gratitude. I have negative thoughts. I take for granted the things that I feel should just happen, like seeing, hearing, even breathing. But speak to someone who these things don’t come easily, they will tell you they’re not aiming for fame and fortune, getting up on a morning and seeing the trees through the window or going for a walk would be a successful day for them.

Since doing a regular self care and yoga practice, I find that bringing awareness back to my breath is helping me to live a more fulfilled life.

So living in gratitude and abundance is a healthy state of being. In a Reiki treatment I will ask my client to ask for what they want, but they’ll receive what you need. By this I mean we should reach for the stars and put it out to the universe to have the best relationship, the car, the house, the wealth, the health and whatever else we want. We should put positive energy and thoughts to make our life the happiest and healthiest it could possibly be and take the steps to make it happen. But we will only receive what we can handle, otherwise it’ll slip through our fingers, because we’re not ready to receive yet.

If we have chronic fatigue for example, we should be telling ourselves we have energy in abundance, being thankful for opening our eyes this morning, the sunshine outside, our heart beat and the thousands of fantastic things our body does. Building on this everyday, becomes a ritual. Releasing any negative self talk and thought patterns, feeds our mind with joy and happiness. Positive neurons are rewired and reconnected and we little by little begin to feel better.

Some days you may feel low, but that’s just a day, or even a small part of the day.

Here are 7 simple steps to release negative thoughts and pain

1. Acknowledge the feeling,
2. Breathe in
3. Tense every muscle you can.
4. Ask whether I want to hold it?
5. Release it with it with the breath
6. Notice how good it feels.
7. Then switch to a positive memory or feeling to rewire your thoughts to feeling good.

I saw the perfect example of living life in gratitude just yesterday. I went to dear friend and colleague’s home. Her and her husband have just moved into the most amazing, absolute beach front apartment, with the view of the beach on one side and the hills on the other. Getting the amazing sunrise and fabulous sunset everyday. You may ask, how is this relevant?. But if I told you 6 years ago these people were homeless, being the victims, for want of a better word, of a major fraud where they lost everything, their home, investments, cars and some of their friends. They did house sitting, looking after animals, lived with friends. Like the phoenix from the flames, they became stronger and even grateful for the experience. Then someone offered for them to come and share her mansion, where they lived happily for 5 years. When they were ready, everything in their life improved. The more personal growth they did, the more they allowed abundance in all forms to flow to them.

Never give up on your hopes and dreams whatever they may be. The most successful people have lived in poverty, abusive relationships, had difficult times with drug or alcohol and nearly given up, but then they find the pearl in the oyster shell.

Ricky Gervais drifted from one thing to the next, then started writing comedy in his forties and now has net worth of $90 million. Now he spreads joy, happiness and wealth to many people and animals around the world.

Oprah Winfrey has spoken many times about her abusive childhood from which she ran away, she became pregnant at 14, but later her infant son died. She went on to work in radio, then host her own show. Her financial growth is worth billions, but her personal growth and how she has inspired many others to care for themselves is priceless.

Make your pearl in the oyster shell, to be living in gratitude and happiness. And keep on being awesome.

Much love
Karen Aitken

Remedial massage therapist & Stress management coach
Kasona – be happy, stress less
www.kasona.com.au
0414 973394

April 12, 2017 By Karen

5 Health benefits of massage

1. Great for stress reduction – Regular massages are paramount to managing everyday stress and getting your mind back in balance. Our muscles and ligaments have a memory, each stressful event is stored in the cells and fibres in our body. Bodywork such as massage alleviates this. At Kasona we incorporate mindfulness and breathing into each treatment too.
It’s important to find the right therapist for you. If you’re laid there thinking this isn’t how I like it or what I want, you’re not going to relax or gain any great benefit from it. Communication is key. Once you find the right therapist, book in regularly to secure the time that fits your schedule and stick to it.

2. Strengthens immune system – We can’t always stop ourselves getting our neighbour’s or family member’s colds and bugs, but we can decrease the impact it has on our health. Having a strong immune system assists our body to move the virus along quicker, with limited down time. There’s an added benefit when using essential oils in your massage. At Kasona we use what you need, when you need it, with a take home sample if required too.

3. Aids Lymphatic system – Our lymphatic fluid needs stimulation to flow effectively. Massage is a very effective tool to clear out toxins held in your body. Too many people have sedentary jobs and watch TV when they get home. Movement is required to keep your lymphatic system clearing. Massage stimulates and promotes a healthy well being.

4. Reduces pain – Pain is manifested in the mind first. Massage can reduce or turn the inflammatory response off after injury or trauma, elevating stress and restriction. Increasing positive blood flow around the body improves muscle and ligament function, reduces tightness and releases pain held within the body. Many people live with pain everyday. It doesn’t have to be that way.

5. Improves relationship with self – Body issues are in a lot of people’s everyday life. When you learn how to feel good in your body, you can fully relax and give yourself over to receive the pleasure of a massage. A good therapist will walk you through these steps. Our body has many pleasure receptors. By stimulating nerve endings, relaxing muscles and ligaments, this sends messages to your brain that “this is good and I deserve to feel this way”. These are all part of having a greater sense of self.

Karen Aitken
Remedial massage therapist & Stress management coach
0414 973394
www.kasona.com.au

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”― Dalai Lama XIV

February 13, 2017 By Karen

How to know and own your self worth

Sooooo, Valentine day. Is it a man made forced romantic load of nonsense, or a useful measure of how much a potential new flame, partner or even children have been thinking about you?.

Not in the how much they spend , but the gestures and thoughtfulness throughout the day. I know we shouldn’t need a day to do this, it should be in our relationship daily, but taking time to reflect and honour each other has to be a good thing, right?

I came across a piece I wrote on the eve of my birthday last year. I now feel ready to share it. The pain and disappointment has eased. I thought it could be useful to know, even though I’ve been a stress management coach and remedial massage therapist for many years, seeing hundreds of happy clients, balancing out negative energies and soothing souls all day. Sometimes my wheels fall off the wagon too. I don’t always communicate effectively, I contain and let it go, in a not so controlled manner. Here’s how it went, enjoy!

Birthday blues

I’m absolutely fuming and disappointed with the whole thing of being a mother and being a wife. Countless hours I spend doing things for other people, putting their needs before my own, making sure they’re fed well, looked after, emotionally stable, entertained, dropped off and picked up from various, sometimes miles away destinations, at different ends of the day. I thought I was raising the next generation of caring and thoughtful boys, who would go on to cherish and nurture their partners and children and all living beings. But no. I’ve now come to the conclusion I live in a house of narcissists

It’s my birthday tomorrow. No big deal. I’ve heard my husband mention a few times, “oh I’ve not got you anything yet”, “I’ll nip out on Saturday (the day before)” So Saturday comes around, he’s got someone coming over to pick up some stuff, then we’re meeting friends for lunch, so he said he has 40 minutes. He’d tried to rally the kids a few times, but they were still in their pj’s, doing their various screen pursuits.

So I said, you know what, don’t bother, I don’t want anything. If you can only spare 40 minutes, how much care and thought is going to go into the present, I’d rather not get anything. To which a “oh I don’t know why you’re being like that, I can’t win, I say I’m getting you something…blah blah blah” So husband leaves the house, without a goodbye…

So I visit each of my gorgeous boys and express my upset that it’s my birthday tomorrow and they haven’t shown any forward thought to it, as you’re much more interested in what you’re doing now. Birthdays to me, are about recognising what that person has done for you all year and giving that extra thanks.

This is probably why I’ve never really liked my birthday. I do love to give to other people, it brings me great happiness. I do not expect anything in return, the energy exchange of the hug, thanks or grateful smile is enough. But with the people closest to me, who I give so much of myself to, I can’t help feeling disappointed at their lack of effort.

My middle son, (after he’d finished that match he was playing on ps4, obviously) did jump up and start making me a card, which is the best type. Then he text me to say he was walking to the shops, obviously not wanting to come anywhere near me in person. As I looked out of the window, the heavens had opened, with a flash downpour Adelaide is becoming famous for. My heart dropped, he was going to be drenched. So I grabbed my car keys and headed out to pick him up, just as my oldest was about to walk to the shops too. Our exchange wasn’t pleasant, as he was in defensive mode that Dad didn’t tell him, he didn’t know he’d gone, I was going to give him money, I didn’t get chance to get you anything..again blah blah blah. I said you have all year to buy a birthday gift for your Mum. Shall I adopt the same behaviour when it’s your birthday in a few weeks, Oh I didn’t have time to get you anything, there’s no party because I couldn’t be bothered to get dressed and lazed around watching TV all day instead.
The youngest he did say he’d make me a card, but couldn’t leave his game right now, because he couldn’t save it. So I said, if that’s the most important thing in your world right now, then you carry on. I’m just explaining how I feel. He decided he could leave the game and started to make a card 🙂

Stress in it’s rawness

Each person in our house dealt with this stressful situation differently.

Husband – defensive and deflection
Oldest – blaming others
Middle – slight aloofness, then acceptance and action
Youngest – bewilderment, reasoning, then acceptance

Me – rage, upset, flight, regret, sadness, fight, anger, bewilderment, numbness, acceptance.

We all have a belief system about ourself. Mostly we have been given this label throughout our life by subconscious programming from others. She won’t talk to you, because she’s shy….He’s so bold and will do anything, ….She’s a dolly daydreamer, always away with the fairies….. But what happens when we start to question that. We can no longer live this false truth. Mine has been, oh she’s the good one, never a bit of trouble. Which is positive and caring, but comes with an amount of burden too. What if I don’t want to be the one who thinks of others before myself, what if I matter too?

This exchange happened because of lack of communication. I wasn’t expressing my thoughts and feelings gradually, saying “you know what, I’d really like to be cherished and looked after on my birthday, It’s important to me”. Instead I’d say, “oh it doesn’t matter”, “I’m not bothered, I’ll put it money my dressing table/art stuff/insert blank here… Containing and releasing it all in one go, has a varied response on the recipient, which can deflect back onto the person trying to express themselves, but that’s their stuff not yours. It’s not your responsibility to nurture other peoples feelings when you’re upset at lack of care shown towards you, but it is your responsibility to say how you feel throughout, without any need for hurt and recrimination. I’m grateful every day to have a little family of my very own, because I know in an instant life changes, so I cherish every magnificent and mundane moment of life. It is ok to feel let down sometimes, it is ok to voice unpopular opinions and it’s ok to let it go and move on.

Things aren’t always what they seem

So there you have it. On the outside people can appear calm and collected, but the river runs deep. I hear all the time clients and friends saying, oh but their life is so perfect, I see the pictures on Facebook and they’re always doing this and declaring that. But is this real? The outside doesn’t always show what goes on inside. All we can control is how we feel. We need to realise we control our thoughts and feelings, they don’t control us. When we honour this and take control of our minds, we become very powerful. And with gratitude we also find happiness in everything. The leaves on the trees, the wind, the rain and all the beauty around us.

So on the eve of Valentine’s, what will your day hold? Will you find disappointment, because it doesn’t go as you planned in your head? Or will you take action, book a nurturing treatment, walk in nature, catch up with an old friend and make it the best day for you? The choice is yours.

Karen Aitken

Kasona
Be Happy – Stress Less
6 Ridgeway drive
Flagstaff hill
5159
0414 973394
www.kasona.com.au
kasonamassage@gmail.com

December 14, 2016 By Karen

How to love your body

It’s quite simple. It starts with acceptance.

When I first met Donna, she was on a diet. I asked “how long have you been on a diet for?” She said “as long as I can remember”. So I said “what if you’re perfect how you are and this is how you’re supposed to be?” She said, “no that’s too depressing, ofcourse I’m supposed to be thinner than this”. That was 17 years ago, she’s still has the same body shape and size and is still on a diet.

It’s all in your head

I have had body confidence issues since I was a teenager and it took me until my late thirties to overcome them. I didn’t do it by constantly dieting, because we know how that goes. I did it by self love and acceptance. Each morning I’d avoid the mirror while dressing, because I’d focus on my thunder thighs. I wouldn’t swim at the beach, because the walk of shame from my towel to the water, would surely make EVERYONE put their books down, stop throwing the ball to their children and halt all the surfers mid wave, because they all would be so disgusted with my white wobbly flesh.

Be careful what you think, because you’re listening

When we say horrible things to people, we know they’re not going to feel good. So why say and think horrible things about yourself and expect good things to happen? You can only motivate change by being kind and helpful.
So I decided to started to take extra care of myself. Before the shower I put a drop of doTERRA frankincense or Elevation blend essential oil behind my ears and take a moment to breathe. In the shower, I’d let the warm flowing water soothe me. I’d use nice smelling, good aromatherapy shower gel. As I gently massages each body part I’d concentrate on what I did want from my body, not what I didn’t.
I’d think how thankful I am for my legs and how they carried me everyday and took me places. How my stomach was smooth and gave me nourishment from all the good food I ate. How my arms cuddled all the people I loved. How my skin was soft and gave me protection. Until I’d mentioned every part of me.

I felt a little silly at first and to be honest, I thought what am I doing. But I carried on. Day after day. Even added a little tune to it. It made me feel happy.

Change your thoughts, change your life

Then amazing things started happening in my life.
I didn’t want to feed my body processed foods or sugar. I wanted pure whole foods, because I loved my body and I wanted to treat it well.
I didn’t want to put chemicals on my skin, because I knew they would poison my blood stream. This is when I discovered doTERRA essential oils and use them daily to enhance my mood, on my body to cleanse and rejuvenate my skin and a natural way to clean my house!!
I wanted to move my body, so I started to exercise regularly.
My skin improved. My relationship with my husband and children flourished. I finally loved and accepted myself. Live in the moment.
We all need a little help sometimes. What if applying a couple of drops of pure theraputic grade essential oils, like doTERRA could help you live a happier life. To find out more have a look here or reach out and get in touch.

Beware of destination addiction, I’ll be better when I’m …… Enjoy the journey, enjoy your life.

Best and powerful wishes

Karen Aitken

Stress management coach, trainer and remedial massage therapist
Kasona – Be happy, stress less
w: www.kasona.com.au
t: 0414 973394
e: kasonamassage@gmail.com

“Of this be sure. You don’t find the happy life, you make it” Thomas S Manson

October 16, 2016 By Karen

Recognising stress in teenagers – The signs aren’t always what you think

Recognising stress in teenager, the signs aren’t always what you think.

My teenager has recently been pushing the limits. He’s not doing any of the heavy stuff just yet (or at least not to our knowledge) but, he’s being doing “just” what he can get away with, taking more than he’s giving, saying he’s too tired to help out, shutting himself away behind his head phones when he ventures into family territory of the kitchen and staying in his room to chat with his friends (online obviously not in person, duh).

When it got to the point I was frustrated and feeling angry with some choices he was making, it was time to have a family meeting to address all our feelings. My husband was on board, so we spoke about what was going on and what changes were needed. It came to light he was feeling low and was shutting himself away and not interacting, because he needed time to himself. Being happy around friends all day, he was finding exhausting. His laid back attitude and not taking responsibility was a cover up to his negative thoughts and stress. He didn’t understand why he felt this way, because he said he had nothing to be sad about. He had great friends, doing well at school, loved his home and hobbies, but still felt low.

As a counsellor and stress management coach, it’s hard to see your loved ones going through struggles, because a lot of the time they don’t reach out because they know you have ideas and solutions as you’ve seen it a hundred times before. So I resisted offering a solution and just listened. I listened to how he felt. I listened until he was ready to find his solution. I said talk about how you feel, especially if you don’t understand it. There’s no right or wrong way to feel.

What to do

One thing I will say, keep communication open as much as possible, try not to judge what they say. Listen to understand, not to react.

When someone around you has low energy, want to shut away, come home and get into bed. Get them to fully acknowledge that they feel that way, accept and honour those feelings, they have every right to feel that way if they want to. But get them to ask themselves, “do I want to stay feeling like this?”

If the answer is no, then do the complete opposite of what they have been doing.

• Do 10 star jumps
• Put trainers on and run to the end of the street,
• Knock on a neighbours door and offer to cut their lawn or walk their dog.
• Do something active, even if it’s only 10 minutes.

Then ask them to notice how they feel. Sometimes breaking the thought pattern with something random, can be enough to change how you feel.

Make a time to factor this into their day, everyday. Exercise is positive stress, which your mind and body needs to stay strong and well. Go with them, so you’re both enjoying a positive experience. Let them talk, or not talk if that’s what they want. Don’t use it as a time to lecture, deal with your own feelings about the situation with a friend or seek professional help yourself, or book a calming massage. Diffusing Lavender therapeutic blend essential oil, could be what you and your teenager need to calm and refocus.

Recognising stress

Stress doesn’t always manifest itself in the way you think it will. The stereotypical white collar worker, at his desk, mounds of paperwork, deadlines, red in the face, on his second heart attack, isn’t the only way stress is shown.
Children feel stress too. They show it in similar ways to adults, shutting down emotionally, feeling tired, over loaded, blaming others, getting angry, sleeping a lot, not being able to sleep, not taking anything seriously and laughing all the time, is also a cover up for how they’re really feeling.

The point I’m trying to make here. How we feel is our responsibility. Your teenager needs to learn that they control their mind and thoughts, their mind doesn’t control them unless they allow it.

If we see negative feeling as weeds, they can take over your garden if you don’t first of all notice them, then do something about them.

Keeping their eye on the prize

Positive thoughts and feelings need love and attention. Keeping your eye on the prize of how you want to feel, what you want in your life and what steps you need to make to get there. It can be uncomfortable recognising this, never mind actually doing anything about it. But the only way to the other side is through. Avoiding or going around it, doesn’t deal with it and certainly doesn’t eradicate it. A personal trainer I know has a great saying “be comfortable with the uncomfortable” using energy to work towards what you do want, instead of using energy putting up with what you don’t.

A lesson for all of us. Be grateful for what you have in your life right now, especially the little things. Be thankful for all your experiences, because they’ve made you who you are today. Use that knowledge to help yourself and others to have the best life they can. Reach out to other people, we’re social being and we need interaction in our lives.

As for my son, we’ve set guidelines in place for him to engage more, no headphones in family areas, communicate and socialise with family, even if it’s not the most exciting part of his day. It’s important to create a neural pathway that siblings, though annoying, are not going away and the more you put into a relationship, the more you get out.
So tonight we’re going to the beach to surf and have a laugh. That’s his happy place, find yours, because you’re worth it.

Karen Aitken
Kasona
Be happy – Stress less
Stress management – Remedial massage – Holistic therapies – Training courses
w: www.kasona.com.au
t: 0414 973394
e: kasonamassage@gmail.com

“wherever possible be kind, it’s always possible” Dalai Lama